Babies

I'm at the age where people all around me are getting married and having babies. I understand the getting married thing- fear of getting old alone and whatnot, but BABIES? Honestly, I can't understand why people put up with those things. They are all wrinkly and ugly, they keep you up all night, suck up all your cash, puke/poop on you and generally make your life hell. In some cases they make life hell for the next 80 years. Why would you want one??

It is amazing to me that there is not a horror movie based on babies. Picture this: a woman has something growing inside of her. It screws up her internal organs, makes her fat, and generally makes her body uncomfortable to live inside of for months. When she rids her body of the parasite, said parasite forces her to feed it, wipe its ass, keeps her up all night and prevents her from having a normal life for the rest of her life. Is that not the plot of a terrifying movie?? That movie would scare the shit out of me. I was discussing this with a friend today. She reminded me of Rosemary's Baby, in which the baby is the devil. Maybe the scary part of that movie was not that the devil was present on earth, but that babies are present on earth. Scary.