White boys with fros

There are many a fashion blunder to be made as a man. I have discussed several in previous blog entries. The white fro has not been discussed until now because it is not girly (no self-respecting white girl would have hair dry enough to make into a fro). I witnessed a fro of great magnitude while lunching on Sunday (I also witnessed a girl in expensive high-heeled boots and cropped jeans, but I'll save that for a separate post). I was shocked and horrified for many reasons including: it is not 1973, he was not Art Garfunkel, he had a kid (in hopes that the fro would live on?), there are barber shops in this city, and last but not least he had a girlfriend.

What girl thinks that is attractive? What kind of girl lets her man walk out of the house looking like he has never met a bottle of conditioner? What kind of girl likes a man who spends hours teasing his hair? I don't know any girls who would tolerate this behavior. At the first sign of puffiness there would be hints about the barber shop. The instant there was a pick involved, there would be a serious talk about what a man should and should not do in order to keep getting laid. This girl, the one who accepts and possibly enjoys the white fro, I don't know what to say about her except that she must secretly hate her man or herself.

Babies

I'm at the age where people all around me are getting married and having babies. I understand the getting married thing- fear of getting old alone and whatnot, but BABIES? Honestly, I can't understand why people put up with those things. They are all wrinkly and ugly, they keep you up all night, suck up all your cash, puke/poop on you and generally make your life hell. In some cases they make life hell for the next 80 years. Why would you want one??

It is amazing to me that there is not a horror movie based on babies. Picture this: a woman has something growing inside of her. It screws up her internal organs, makes her fat, and generally makes her body uncomfortable to live inside of for months. When she rids her body of the parasite, said parasite forces her to feed it, wipe its ass, keeps her up all night and prevents her from having a normal life for the rest of her life. Is that not the plot of a terrifying movie?? That movie would scare the shit out of me. I was discussing this with a friend today. She reminded me of Rosemary's Baby, in which the baby is the devil. Maybe the scary part of that movie was not that the devil was present on earth, but that babies are present on earth. Scary.

Boys are no longer fun to write about

So I had pretty much forgotten about my blog until a friend mentioned it last night. You may be wondering how I could forget about something so important and culturally relevant. I will tell you how: boys are girls. They are not even fun to comment on or make fun of anymore. It is common knowledge that boys are girls and everyone seems to be comfortable with that.

This fact begs the question: what is the point of this blog? The short answer is that there is no longer a point to this blog. The long answer is that while boys=girls is no longer speculation but pure fact, I am left to ponder other subjects in the same catty, biased way as I did boys. Those of you who know me well know that I have no shortage of opinions. The plan going forward is to use my my blog as a written bitchfest for all things great and small. Stay tuned.