New Year

Tomorrow begins a fresh year. Let's hope that at least a few boys have read and learned from this blog. I would like to suggest a New Year's resolution for all of the boys who have girly ways. Your resolution should be: I will be a not be a girl this year, I will be a MAN! Feel free to use it as a mantra. Write it on your bathroom mirror so you see it morning and night.

For all of you boys who have accepted your girly ways, I applaud your good sportsmanship about the blog over the past year. At least sportsmanship has the word sport in it which makes it, and therefore you, a little manly. I hope you continue to be good natured about it in the coming year as I do plan to have more fun at your expense. Happy New Year everyone!!

Boys going to musicals

I was just having a conversation with a friend of mine who lives in San Francisco. He told me about a straight man who goes to see Phantom of the Opera several times a year. Not because his wife makes him, not because he has a crush on the girl playing the heroine, but because he loves musicals. Straight guys who like musicals? Really?

I don't know any guys who go to see musicals on their own or who would openly admit to enjoying musical theater. Maybe this is some kind of weird West Coast girly shit? I have a sneaking suspicion that San Francisco is a treasure trove of blog worthy material. I'll have to visit soon. Until then, let's just hope that kind of girly business does not start spreading east.

Boys eating at La Madeleine

While dining at the notoriously girly restaurant La Madeleine last night, I noticed something odd: most of the diners were boys. There were father and son pairs, a group of 20 something guys, two older men, etc. None of these boys had women with them and none appeared to be gay. Pretty much every man I know will only go into said establishment if he is accompanied by a woman who chose to eat there. I found it unsettling in the same way I would find it unsettling if a group of women chose to have dinner at BW3's on a Saturday night without the Olympics on TV. Why would a group of straight men eat at La Madeleine? Did they have a craving for salad and quiche? Were they in need of delicate pastries? The only logical conclusion I can come up with for boys choosing to eat at girly restaurants is that boys are the new girls.

Boys watching girl movies

I was watching Breakfast at Tiffany's the other night with some girl friends of mine. We began to discuss the wonder that is Audrey Hepburn (is it possible to avoid that discussion while watching Audrey?) when my friend mentions that she knows a boy with a collection of Audrey Hepburn movies. I'm not saying that all Audrey Hepburn movies are girly, but all of the ones I can name off the top of my head are. My Fair Lady, Sabrina, Roman Holiday, and the afore mentioned Breakfast at Tiffany's are some of the girliest movies I've ever seen. If you are not gay but are a man who owns a collection of girly movies, you are not a man. You are a girl.

Boys with girl hair

Ok so maybe I'm just getting old, but what is UP with boys and the flippy, straightened, slightly long hair with WAY too much product? I saw the Jonas Brothers on a magazine cover in the grocery store and I thought the middle brother's hair looked familiar. Low and behold the pictures above. Boys have started taking hair styling tips from Carol Brady. WTF?

I didn't think this boy was old enough to know who Carol Brady is, but apparently he (or maybe his mom) loves her hair. Maybe there is whole generation of boys whose mothers only know how to style hair like Carol Brady. Maybe those mothers with their limited beautician skills set to work on their sons' hair fearing that the boys would leave the house with bedhead. Maybe. Or maybe boys styling their hair after popular ladies of the 70's are girls.

Boys dancing like girls

I like a man who can dance. I find it endearing. But much like music, there is boy dancing and girl dancing. Boys can do a number of dances which are not inherently girly. However, I have noticed more and more boys throwing caution to the wind and shaking their asses like salt shakers. These were not men doing a salsa routine with a woman, these were boys alone on the dance floor shaking what their mama gave them. Here is a tip boys: swiveling your hips while waving your hands in the air is a girl dance. And it is not even a very good one. If these boys are at the club trying to pick up girls while imitating girly dances I have to ask: are they trying to pick up lesbians? Because, seriously, no self respecting girl will be wooed by a boy who steals her dance moves.

Boys and excessive manscaping

Before I begin, let me make it very clear that not all manscaping is bad. I would argue that more manscaping is better than less, even. However, there is a very fine line. For example, if you are an Olympic swimmer it is acceptable to shave every inch of your body. You have proved your manly endurance in the water and you have earned the right to be as hairless as a 6 year old girl without ridicule from me. If you are not an Olympic swimmer and you are totally hairless, I begin to wonder: ARE you a 6 year old girl?

Please boys, do not take this as the green light to grow Santa beards, let your chest hair grow long enough to be plaited, or quit waxing your back hair. None of those things are acceptable. In fact, I am ok with guys going to the spa to get their back hair waxed. I am even a proponent of it. Anywhere you have hair, I suggest you trim it regularly but shaving your whole body is just unnecessary. For the record, I'm not a fan of facial hair and would always prefer a clean-shaven face on a man. Clean-shaven body on the other hand just makes me think you have yet to hit puberty and could possibly be a girl.